


Knowing Comfort

by Fujiwara_no_Seimei



Series: Nishiura Comfort Series [2]
Category: Ookiku Furikabutte
Genre: Comfort, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-04
Updated: 2010-08-04
Packaged: 2017-10-10 22:53:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/105292
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fujiwara_no_Seimei/pseuds/Fujiwara_no_Seimei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In rare cases, when two people aren't listening to one another, they manage to hear everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Knowing Comfort

**Author's Note:**

> This piece takes place after the Bijou Dai-Sayama game, and subsequently contains spoilers regarding its conclusion. It takes place before the prior fic in this series, "Silent Comfort," but is meant to be read after, and can be read as a stand-alone.

"Nishihiro?"

Hanai had approached quietly, and was not surprised that the addressee jumped a little, having been sitting there in the changing room long after everyone else had left.

"Oh, Hanai-kun," Nishihiro said, looking up at him. There was a hint of surprise in his eyes, not at Hanai's appearance, but because he seemed to have not noticed that everyone else had left.

"Is everything all right?" Hanai asked.

Nishihiro looked down at his hands. Technically, yes. Everything was alright, because the team was made of good people who didn't hold his poor performance against him. They didn't judge him, never yelled at him. Didn't say a word when he broke down on the field and cried.

"Nishihiro-kun?" Hanai repeated, reaching a hand out to rest on his teammate's shoulder. Nishihiro's gaze snapped up, he had sunk into his thoughts again and given the wrong idea by not replying in a timely fashion.

Or maybe it was the right idea.

"Yes," he stammered. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you."

Hanai frowned a little, and turned to sit down next to him. "No one is mad at you, you know," he said.  
Nishihiro nodded. "I know."  
He grew silent again.

"Everyone is busy blaming themselves today," Hanai went on, leaning his head back.  
Nishihiro nodded again. He had considered, in addition to his own guilt, the guilt Oki and Abe and Mihashi must have been feeling. Oki especially, because he was clearly not himself today, and everyone had known he felt responsible for Abe's injury.

"The one time Mihashi isn't blaming himself for everything, and everyone else has taken up his mantle," Hanai mused.  
"Mmm," Nishihiro said, clearly not listening.

"Hey," Hanai said, giving Nishihiro a gentle push with his shoulder.  
"Ah. Yes?" he replied, startled as ever.  
What Hanai wanted to say was _Do you want to talk or just brood?_ A better person in Hanai considered instead, _Are you even listening?_ And the melodramatic side of Hanai flirted with _You don't need me here, do you?_

But finally, he settled on "Nevermind." Feeling defeated and a little childish, Hanai stood up as if to leave. He shot a look down at Nishihiro, as if to say, _See? If you're not going to rely on me, I'm going to leave._  
But Nishihiro was looking back at him now, eyes wide, as if he'd remembered something important. As if he'd just realized why Hanai was here, that he was here for him.  
"Nishi-"  
"I'm sorry!" Nishihiro blurted. His eyes had welled up with tears, and suddenly things he had kept in check were tumbling out.  
"Nishihiro," Hanai said, kneeling down and wrapping his arms around his shoulders. _Please, let me comfort you. Just this once,_ Hanai thought, desperately. As if to respond to his silent plea, Nishihiro lifted his arms and wrapped them around Hanai's back, shuddering a little as he tried to suppress hard sobs.  
"I'm sorry, I couldn't hit it even once! I couldn't even-" he cried.  
And Hanai stroked Nishihiro's hair, murmuring close to his ear, "It's okay, it's okay."  
"It was just so embarrassing...and everyone...no one..."  
Hanai hugged him tighter.  
"And Abe's hurt, and Oki's sad, and I really thought, for just a little while, that we were going to go to Koshien..."  
Hanai nodded silently, and he felt Nishihiro's tears soak into his the shoulder of his shirt, wet against his skin.

Hanai ran a hand up Nishihiro's back, and sighed, almost too obviously. He didn't notice when Nishihiro grew still, and if he had, maybe he would have realized that his next move- pressing his lips gently and sweetly on Nishihiro's temple- was the wrong one. When it happened, Nishihiro froze for a second beneath the feeling of Hanai's comforting kiss, before jumping back, eyes wide at his teammate.

The captain hadn't been thinking. He hadn't been thinking about how disappointed he'd been when they lost, or how he felt like a failure of a captain. How, in moments of panic, there was nothing he could do. When Abe fell, Tajima took his place. When Mihashi freaked out, Sakaeguchi was there to calm him. But when Nishihiro fell over in tears on the field, Hanai could do something. He could lift him up and carry him off the field, and he hadn't been thinking about how fulfilled he had felt to be effectual.

Until now.

Until now, when he had taken that fullfilled feeling and mixed it up with a million other feelings, some highly innapropriate and fleeting, and made a misstep. Mode a move that shouldn't have been made.

"I'm sorry!" Hanai stammered, suddenly wearing an undiscovered shade of red across his face.  
Nishihiro sat, stunned, with his fingertips against the spot that Hanai had kissed.  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything weird, I promise," Hanai went on, terrified.  
Nishihiro lifted his eyes, slowly, to meet Hanai's.  
It was true. Hanai didn't necessarily have any romantic feelings for Nishihiro, or any other boy, for that matter. He had been caught up in the freeing feeling of being relied on, being useful.

"It's...okay," Nishihiro said, uneasy. "It's fine. I...should probably get home."

When Nishihiro stood up and gathered his things, he kept his eyes averted far away from Hanai, and the latter became filled with panic. It was clear that Nishihiro was freaked out, and he couldn't think of a single thing he could say that would fix it. He stood up when Nishihiro hoisted his bag over his shoulder.

"Nishi-"  
"Hanai-kun," he said, cutting Hanai off. "It's okay."  
Hanai was not convinced.

Then Nishihiro stepped forward, closing the gap between them.  
"Hanai-kun..." he began, firmly, "You..."  
Hanai bit his lip, fearful.  
But the next thing he knew, Nishihiro's hands were on his face, pulling him down. Those were Nishihiro's lips on his forhead, kissing with a soft, gentle stillness he'd never known. And now he was looking up again, into Nishihiro's eyes, and he was smiling.  
"You were suffering too, weren't you?" He asked. He looked down and took Hanai's hands in his own, feeling them warm up slowly.  
"You have a hard job, Hanai-kun. But... you can let us comfort you too. You don't have to be lonely. You're not a bad captain if you need support once and a while."

It occured to Hanai, then, that he wasn't called Nishihiro-sensei for nothing.

Then Nishihiro was waving gently, with a tinge of pink on his cheek, and then he was gone, and the door was closing, and Hanai felt a rush of emotion like he'd never felt before.

And Hanai spent some time there, wiping back tears from his face as he cried. He knew now that he couldn't properly help others with their suffering if he didn't settle his own grief first.

That Nishihiro had acknowledged that grief had helped assuage it. And it was pouring out now- all the feelings of inadequacy, of insecurity, of loneliness. Poured out with the tears that hit the floor of the club room, and would stay there.

Because when he left, he did not take the grief with him, and the place in his heart where it had previously lived was now filled with a warm memory of Nishihiro's comforting touch.

The cicadas were loud, and it was too late and too hot, and he would be scolded for getting home so late.

He didn't care.


End file.
